Colombian reflection

 As I near the end of my Colombian journey, I have been reflecting on what it has all meant to me.

There has been so much planning over the last few years that sometimes I think that I might have lost track of why I wanted to do it at all. A few people from home, and during the trip itself, have asked me why I wanted to come to Colombia. It has always been difficult to really explain it to myself, let alone other people. I suppose I wanted the challenge: of being alone in an unknown country all by myself; learning to really be independant and not relying on others for direction; to just have the freedom to make my own decisions every day about what I want to do, and where I want to go; to step out of the comfort of the familiar and into a strange new world; to see some amazing things.

The money spent would have got me an all inclusive in somewhere like the canary islands, but that is not the point. It is not about how much I wanted to spend, it has all been about new experiences and testing myself. I have succeeded on all counts. This trip has allowed me to really stop and reset my mindset. For a while I have been somewhat directionless; just drifting along and not really caring too much about the future. I have been bent to the will of others (through my own doing, not through any coercion or malice). What I have discovered is that I can be alone and that I don't have to change anything about myself, unless I choose to. There were two words written on the window in red paint at the hostel room where I stayed in Villa de Leyva. They simply said "Eres sufficiente", you are enough. For some reason, this seemed like a timely and important message, almost as though the words were put there especially for me. I like to have other people in my life, but I don't need them. I am a worthy and good person; I don't need to change or feel inadequate just because someone else says so.

So, what have I discovered in these past few weeks? That I can allow myself to be happy and just enjoy what is left of the rest of my life.